2004 Journal Entries

January October

Nothing notable has happened during this time. Monica is still missing all the Birthdays and Holidays so far.

In March i got my first customer for Pampa Web. I was excited. All i had currently had in the way of hosting was sites I had donated to a few organizations. Boy this is a competitive field and it is very costly to advertise. Ah well I am going to keep plugging along with it.

November 4

I was contacted by a very nice lady from FindCarrieCulberson.com . She expressed her deepest regret to our family. She said that she had put Monica's information on their forums and website. Jill is a very sweet lady.

November 11

I replied back to her email giving her more information that the old site did not have on it. I basically spilled the beans.

December 9

After thinking what Jill had said in her email, I decided to create a site for Monica. I wanted everyone to know her and know what was going on.

I then went to Carrie Culberson's website (http://www.findcarrieculberson.com/ ) and forums and signed up. I looked them over and it all came rushing back to me. Finally someone was showing interest in Monica's disappearance. All my emotions were let out at that moment. I sat and cried as I reflected back on what all had been happening in the last few years. I then received an email from Jill saying that she was going to donate some money as soon as possible to Monica's fund. What a nice lady. God bless her. She said that she would send an email to a person she knew in Texas that works with Missing Person Cases.

Jill gave me a lot of good ideas as to what to start doing to get the attention Monica's case deserved. She offered to make mailing labels to put on every piece of mail that went out. She said she would do the labels and send them to me in an email. This is so nice of her. She doesn't even know me and she is helping like this. This is great.

I received an email from Dede at AMALP Foundation expressing their regret and to contact them anytime. They wanted all the information I had on Monica's case. I sent it to them.

December 10

I got another email from Dede She too gave me a lot of ideas and said they were putting Monica's information on their web site (http://community-2.webtv.net/superkeene2/AmericasMissing/ ) also. She gave me some websites to get Monica's information on. She is a very nice lady.

She sent me another email giving me the information for all the major television networks and told me to send them a letter. I am going to do that. She said that she is going to get me in contact with Milton Nerenberg. Mr. Nerenberg lost his daughter 27 years ago and has never found her. I feel sorry for that man. 27 years of not knowing must have been hard.

I started putting together Monica's Site and added Mr. Nrenberg to my email address book.

Jill sent me the labels. I can't thank her enough for what she is doing. I already know what I am going to do with them. Put them on all the Christmas Cards that we send out. Even the ones I give to all the employees at work.

December 11

Connie and I helped a friend in White Deer with a poker run to help benefit a lady I know who has cancer. We raised $5,000.00 for her. It felt good to do something like that. We had a good time.

I worked the rest of the evening on Monica's web site. I am excited about getting it online. I am finally ready to go live with it. I purchased the domain name and started uploading the information into the server. I sent out an email letting everyone know that the website was up and gave them the link. I started going to the other missing person sites that I had been given by Jill and Dede and started asking them to put links on their sites. I finally went to be around midnight .

December 12

I worked on Monica's site some more today. I emailed more of the Missing Person sites asking to get Monica's web site information on them.

I checked my email and I had an email from Dede and Mr. Nerenberg. Dede said that she had she had been in contact with Mr. Nerenberg, by phone, and the he was going to contact me.

I got an email from Mr. Nerenberg. He said that he had looked at Monica's site and was going to send an email with a few things for me to do and the he was very sorry for what I have and the he understood. He lost his daughter 27 ½ years ago and he has never given up hope of finding her. This has inspired me to push even harder for Monica.

December 13

I emailed him back letting him know that I would be adding Audrey to Monica's web site. He sent me a list of things that would be beneficial. This is when I decided it was time to raise the reward. How will I get the money? If I have to sell everything I own I will do it. It has to be done.

I got a list of all the News Me dia in the area. Jill is going to help me with a letter to send out to all the local and national media.

I went home and worked on Monica's site some more. I even created a set of forums to.

December 14

I get home from work and I have an email from Skye at WatchersforMissing.com asking to place a link to Monica's site from their. I emailed them thanking them and giving them permission to do so.

I started searching the web for web sites that may have Monica's name. I found her to be listed on a handful. I am determined to get her on more.

I worked on Monica's site some more adding links to other missing person web sites.

December 15

I got an email from a Mr. Richard Carter advising me against going higher than the up to $1,000.00 reward for Monica's case. I emailed him back thanking him for his concern and letting him know that in normal circumstances I would not even consider it. These are normal circumstances and that the current reward amount has not been appealing enough to anyone who has infromation on Monica's case. If it had we would have gotten information before now.

He hasn't replied.

I worked on Monica's site some more. It is looking pretty good. I am proud of it. I just hope people start looking at it.

I have decided to hold off on letting anyone at work know about the web site just yet.

December 16

Dede sent me an animated gif with Monica's picture on it. I really appreciate this. It is nice. I am going to use it on all the web sites that I manage. I emailed her back thanking her.

I worked on Monica's site.

December 17

I still haven't got my shopping done for Christmas. Time is running out and Connie's patient is too with me I think. But this is so important to me. Now more than ever.

I got home and started working on Monica's site.

I emailed the Laci Peterson's webmaster asking for a link to Monica's information be placed on their site.

Jill emailed me some banners she made that could be downloaded for other people to place on their site. She did them in blue. I love them. They will come to be very useful. They had Monica's information and picture on them.

Jill and I sent emails to list Monica information on other sites. Jill advised me to start thinking about some vigils in both Amarillo and Pampa as well as some fund raisers. I have decided to hold a candlelight vigil on Christmas Day. She also reminded me to contact the Carol Sund Foundation to help with the reward.

Jill donated $20.00 to Monica's fund. I really appreciate this lady. She has been a blessing the last couple of weeks.

Dede and Jill sent me an online Christmas Card. They were nice and very thoughtful.

December 18

Dede emailed me today and also reminded me to contact the Sund Foundation for help. I would not know what to do without the help of these people. I have so many things going on at the moment that I can't remember half of it. They keep me reminded and I appreciate it.

I got an email from James Hanley with SAR-Info.com ( www.sar-info.com ) offering any help if needed. He is a Search and Rescue Dog handler. I emailed him back thanking him.

Jill is working on a new flier for Monica.

I got an email from Jonathon Smith of www.lacipeterson.com telling me that he had added a link to their site and telling me how sorry he was for Monica being missing.

Another site http://theyaremissing.org emailed me saying they too had added a link.

I sent an email to http://www.texasequusearch.org/ asking them to place a link on their website.

I emailed the Carol Sund Foundation asking them to consider Monica's information and asked for their help. I also emailed asking the Monica's case Investigator to email them also.

I added a few more links to Monica's site.

December 19

I worked on Monica's site some more and finally went Christmas shopping.

December 20

I met with the Chief today and told him about the website. He said that he would be meeting with the new Texas Ranger for our area and they would be looking over the case after the first of the year and try and turn over a few rocks. I was happy about this.

I sent out an email about the candlelight vigil to be held on Christmas day. It is at 8:00 P.M. Isent it to all the media in the area. I have to get things ready in the next couple of days.

Jill emailed me and gave me a link to a Dr. Godwin at www.drmauricegodwin.com and ask him to take a look at Monica's case. I emailed him giving him the information that I had.

I got an email from Judy Maher of www.childseeknetwork.com . She is a very nice lady and said that she had been sent Monica's site information and that they were adding Monica to it.

December 21

I got a call from Jodi Lockridge of KGNC Radio in Amarillo who had gotten my email and wanting to do a phone interview about Monica's case and the vigil. I did it. It is going to be played everyday.

Jill emailed and gave me a few ideas for the vigil she said she would make some little card that has Monica's picture and information on them and we could attach them to some balloons and release them at the vigil. I though it was a good idea. She made them and sent them to me. I started printing them out.

I got an email from Carol of the Child Seek Network. She wanted to conduct and interview for a special edition newsletter that they were going to do soon. I agreed to do it.

December 22

I went around today gather all the supplies I needed for the vigil. I went to Praxxair of Pampa and they donated the helium for the balloons. It was very nice of them to do this. I have decided to use 29 balloons. That is how old she was when she came up missing. It has been 5 years now.

Lex came home today for the holidays. That boy is growing up. He is as tall as I am (6'1").

I sat down with him and Lesleigh and had a long talk about what has been going on and what is going to be happening in the future.

December 23

I am off today and going to work on Monica's site. I am going to add a tip form and a calendar to list the events and things on. Plus it might help me to remember things I need to do.

The site is getting a lot of traffic on it. I got a server email notice that the bandwidth was at 80%. I just added more.

I got a nice email from Child Seek wishing the family a Safe and Happy Holiday.

Things are really starting to come together. There is still a lot to do and I am tired and irritable but, I must push on for Monica.

I sent out emails to all the major news networks listed on the website asking for their help. We will see what comes of it. I even included AMW again. Maybe they will look at it this time.

Mom got upset with me because I snapped at her when she called. I didn't mean to. I am just stressed. I will apologize to her in the morning.

I completed the interview with Child Seek at about 1:00 A.M. and sent it back to them. I poured my heart out in it. I broke down and cried while doing it. It is still hard even after all this time. I guess it never gets better.

December 24

I got a reply from Carol letting me know that she received the interview and it will be coming out in the special edition newsletters real soon.

I called mom and apologized.

I worked on Monica's site again today most of the day. I printed up alot of fliers to be handed out at the vigil.

Connie and the kids wanted to open up some gifts, so we did. Just one or two a piece. It was a nice evening.

December 25

I got up early so I could start cooking for the family. All the kids are coming and I need to have everything ready by lunch time. Connie and I spent all morning getting dinner ready. After dinner the kids wanted to open all their presents. They had a good Christmas this year. We tried really hard to make that happen.

I got an email from the Chief letting me know that he would be out of town this evening with family.

Marlon shows up out of the blue to get the kids after lunch. I told him to have them back by 5:00 p.m. knowing full well that they would not be home until around 6 or 7 P.M. He never does as he says. He can't even show up for his daughter's birthday and when she calls him he doesn't return her calls. I can't stand him.

I almost feel over shocked when Marlon brought them back right at 5:00 . This was a first.

Connie, Arron, Michael (my sons) and I started filling the balloons with helium and attaching the ribbon and cards that I had laminated to the balloons. At 7:30 we went down to the parking lot that we had designated as the spot to hold the Vigil. When we got there a few family member had already arrived along with David Bowser the local newspaper reporter. It was about 30 degrees outside. It was cold. We started getting things ready. We started handing out the candles. At 8:00 we lit the candles and started the ceremony. I spoke letting everyone know what to expect in the future and that I have been encouraged by friends from all over the country to not give up and keep Monica's face out in the public. When I was done talking we were ready to hand out the balloons. Well that turned out to be a task in itself. The balloons had wrapped around each other and into a big mess. We had to cut the cards off, untangle them and reattach the cards. This took about 15 minutes. People were working like crazy to get them done. By this time a few of Monica's friends had arrived and took part in the ceremony. Over all there were about 30 people, mostly family, that came. I remember seeing a police car drive by and wondering why no one from the police department had not came. We released the balloons. I got emotional when that was done. We handed out fliers and asked everyone to hand them out all over the place. David took pictures and interviewed me. It was hard to see mom cry. God how we miss her. We packed up everything and went home.

December 26

I posted about the vigil on the forums and website along with some pictures that were taken.

I got an email from Milton thanking me for adding Audrey to Monica's site. It was my pleasure. I want to do more.

I added a few more links to Monica's site and created a chat program.

Someone called me about some information in the case. I forwarded the tip information to the investigator. I will not elaborate on it now.

December 27

I go to work and I got a couple of emails from the investigator. She had viewed the web site and replied to me and said that it was harsh but true. I am not sure what harsh meant. The other was a brief email that had been sent to the Sund Foundation advising that she was the investigator in charge of the investigation and for them to contact her if they are interested in the search for Monica.

I came home, checked my email and spent the evening with the kids playing video games. It was fun.

December 28

I get home from work and check my email. I have one from Jodi at KGNC. She is wanting to know if anything concrete has been set on the vigil in Amarillo yet. I replied letting her know that it had not been yet but I hope to do it soon and I will email her once a date is set. I want to talk with the family first. I would like everyone there. She is doing a good job in covering this and doing followups. I wish the rest would do the same.

I had another one from the server letting me know the bandwidth was at 80% again. I raised it again. Man it is getting a lot of hits. We are up to 1600 hits now and it only been two weeks.

December 29

Nothing much happened today. I added a few more links to Monica's site and played video games with the kids.

December 30

Today I get home and check my email. I got one from a friend (Sandy Carr) who is a victims assistance advocate in our area. She says that she understand my frustration and would like to help. She has been to a seminar where Rachel Cooke's parents were speakers. It was a moving speech. She has some ideas that I think will help. She is a wonderful lady and I appreciate her help. She knows her stuff. I emailed her back asking her for any information she could give. I am starting to feel good about all of this. I think we may get some answers soon or at least I am hopeful we will.

I got the Child Seek Special Edition Newsletter today. It was a very nice article that they had done. It made me cry again. I emailed it to everyone.

Tonight I had someone email me telling me that they needed to speak with me. I told them to contact me in chat. They wouldn't. it had to be in person. I go to them and they tell me some disturbing news. I can't elaborate on it. I asked them to contact Crime Stoppers with the information. They are in fear of their life if the information gets out. I try and encourage them to do it that it is anonymous and their confidentiality is honored. When I was done talking to them I was still not sure it was going to be done. I will wait and see if it is. If not I will write it up and send it to the investigator. I can't help think how frustrating it is to have or get information from someone and not know if it is true. Sometimes it just sucks.

December 31

Today was a bad day. I kept remembering what I had been told and it was eating at me. Marlons mom called and wanted the kids to spend the night. After some arguing I decided to let them go. The kids wanted to go. I knew that they probably would end up at their dads. They know I don't want them there in that house. I just wish he would leave the kids alone. They know what he does, but they still love him. I don't care for him at all. He has information on Monica and will not come forward with it. He owes that to the kids and us. He is a coward. I told his mom to have them home by noon tomorrow.

I emailed Texas EquuSearch again asking them information like how far does their services reach and if they would add Monica to their site.

I got another server message about the bandwidth being at 80% again. I just let it ride because at midnight it starts a new month.

I have to work tonight from 10p 1a. It's going to be a busy night.