2002 Journal Entries


I am told I have to file a workers comp claim.

Grand mother gets really sick and goes into the hospital. I am stuck in a wheelchair because I can hardly walk due to the pain in my back. We can't find Monica to tell her that grandmother is not going to make it.

Grandmother passes away. Monica can't be found. Where the hell is she?

I go to the doctor and they start putting hot packs on my back.


Weeks go by and still no relief of the pain. I go back to the doctor and he has me go get a MRI and x-rays. He calls me later and tells me I need to have surgery sue to a disc in my lower back being bad. He refers me to a specialist in Amarillo . Oh great what next?

Workers comp wants a second opinion and further treatment and more Chiropractor visits. The want me to take the cortisone shots in my back. Man I was pain for two weeks after the first one.

Lex is admitted into Boys Ranch. Man this is hard. I am going to miss him. But it is for the best. It is either this or being locked up in the Texas Youth Commission Prison until he is 18. At least he will be able to go to school with others and be in a structured environment where he can be counseled with.


I got for two more shots. Same thing they make the pain go away for a couple of weeks then bam here it is again.


One more shot and still no help. This time it is agreed that the surgery is needed by Workers Comp. Man I wish these people had to live with this pain. It has been 4 months going on 5. I am now on total workers comp disability income. I start worrying about everything. How am I going to feed my family and pay my bills on what little percentage they pay?

A friend of mine, who I had met on an online game, contacted me and told me that I should start my own web hosting business. He commented that I knew most of what it would take to do it. He told me that it would help keep my mind off of things and give me something to do. So I decided to go for it. It took me a few days but I finally came up with a name I wanted to call the new business. After doing some searching on the internet I decided to call it Pampa Web Connections. I started putting it all together with his help and I purchased the domain name http://www.pampaweb.net


Connie drove me over to Amarillo , Lesleigh came along to. I go into the hospital to have my surgery. I have requested a private room. They stick me in a waiting room to fill out the papers. This is the first time I had to ever do a living will or have any kind of surgery. I got scared and started crying. I just want to see Monica.

They perform the surgery. When I come to I am in a semi private room hooked up to all these machines and have this leggings on that are suppose to keep the circulation going in my legs. I can't move. I am told that the button in my hand is morphine and to use it if I feel pain. Hmm now this could be interesting! My wife stays with me the entire time except to go back to the travel trailer and sleep.

The first night wasn't bad I was alone in the room. I couldn't sleep much it was just too uncomfortable.

The second night they put someone in the room. It was an elderly man. All he could do all night was yell out, “I'm gonna die get me some water” I didn't get any sleep. Man this is so uncomfortable. The next morning came. I haven't had any sleep, the doctor hasn't come in and I want to go home. Finally the doctor comes in and tells me that I can get up if I feel like it and go to the bathroom as needed. Hmmm who would of thunk it? Connie and Lesleigh have come back by this time and I tell them to help me get up. I put this thing on that makes me look like a turtle. I walk up and down the halls trying to get my strength back into my legs. The left side from my hip down was numb due to nerve damage done when a procedure was done a couple of weeks prior to inflate the disk and it pinched a nerve.

I ask them for a private room again. They tell me that there are none available. Well that isn't what you told me yesterday. I told them then I am going home. They called the doctor. I spoke to him on the phone. He said I could go home but to be careful. He wanted to see me in a couple of weeks. Yaaahoo maybe now I can rest. They discharge me and we start back to the trailer. On the ride there I can feel every nerve in my body. It feels like I am being stuck with millions of pins. We gather what we need and leave the trailer there. We will get a friend to come pull it home in a couple of days. We start back to Pampa . OH MY GOD this is crazy. I am going crazy with pain from the nerve damage. I try to lie down in the back seat of the extended cab pickup. Ummm ever tried to crawl in the back of one of those things wrapped in a turtle shell? It is nearly impossible. Well we get a few miles down the road and I tell Connie to pull over I can't take it anymore. We called another friend to bring his SUV so I can lie in the back of it. They came and the ride home wasn't near as bad. That was the longest 55 miles I had ever been.

May 21 st came and still no Monica.

I am doing better now. I am just now getting to drive again. The yard is looking pretty bad. Maybe if I take it easy I can mow it. So I get out and try to do it. It takes me two days to get it done. I would run out of energy pretty quick.

No customers yet with the new business venture. Still working and adding to the site.


Lesleighs birthday comes and we decide to go to Oklahoma for the weekend to celebrate her birthday. Still no word from Monica.

No customers yet with the new business venture. Still working and adding to the site.

July - October

Chief Morris and the city Manager came by to see me once and see how I was doing. I am still going through the healing process. Going to physical therapy and wanting out of the house. I want to go back to work. August I go back to work part time working in the office doing whatever they wanted me to do which included minor criminal investigations and background investigations on police applicants. Chief Morris, Deputy Chief Terry Young and City Manager all retire suddenly during my time out. Hmm that is odd. Wonder why?

Mom's birthday comes. Still no Monica.


No customers yet with the new business venture.

I finally get released to go back to full duty by the doctor.

Lex's Birthday. Monica is still missing.

Lex comes home for the Thanksgiving. He is doing better. He is still showing signs of his anger problem though.

A report came in that Monica may be buried under an old car on Ranch south east of Pampa. The Gray County Sheriff's Department and a Lt. with Pampa PD got on a DPS helicopter an flew over the ranch to see if they could see anything. I do not know the results.


No customers yet with the new business venture. I am committed to keeping it going.

Christmas comes. It is getting hard to deal with. Monica isn't here. Lex is home again for Christmas.